Poor Unfortunate Bot
"Poor Unfortunate Bot" is a song from the rewritten version of the Zeo episode Rock-a-Bye Power Rangers, a spoof of a song from the Walt Disney Pictures animated film The Little Mermaid. Written for a key plot point in the episode and performed by Barbara Goodson and Robert Axelrod, it is sung to Somnibot by Rita, with occasional spoken lines by Zedd. In a style that combines Broadway Theatre with Burlesque, Rita uses it to seduce Somnibot into trading her voice for the chance to temporarily break free from the Machine Empire's control and be with Alpha 5. A short melodic reprise of the song is featured later, being sung by Rita but with a softer and more dulcet and sweet tone (as she had stolen Somnibot's voice). Lyrics :I admit that in the past I've been a nasty :They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch :But you'll find that nowadays :I've mended all my ways :''Repented, seen the light, and made a switch :(Speaking Segment) :Somnibot: :True? :Rita: :Yes. :(End Speaking Segment) :And I fortunately know a little magic :It's a talent that I always have possessed :And here lately, now please don't laugh, :I use it on behalf :of the miserable, lonely and depressed. :Poor unfortunate bots :In pain, in need :This bot longing to be thinner :That bot wants to get the girl :And do I help them? :Yes, indeed :Those poor unfortunate bots :So sad, so true :They come flocking to my palace :Crying "Spells, Rita, please!" :And I help them? :Yes I do. :But it's happened once or twice :Someone couldn't pay the price :And I'm afraid I couldn't give them what they sought :Yes I've had some complaint :But, on the whole, I've been a saint :to those poor unfortunate bots :(Speaking Segment) :Rita: :Here's the deal, sleepyhead. I will make you a potion that will free you from the control of the Machine Empire for a day and a half, almost two days. Now, listen, this is very important. Before the sun sets the day after tomorrow, you've got to get little Alpha 5 to fall in love with you. If you do, you're free to live your own life as you please. :Somnibot: :Okay. And if I don't? :Zedd: :We're getting to that, don't you worry your sweet circuits. Oh, here we go! The fine print! Read it! :Somnibot: :(reading contract) "If I fail to comply with the terms of this agreement, I fall back under the will of King Mondo and Queen Machina, and I will be doomed to spend eternity under their control." :Rita: :Legal issues! Don't you just love 'em? Of course, there is one more thing. We haven't discussed the subject of payment. Nothing's free, you know. :Somnibot: :But I don't have anything! :Rita: :Relax, Somnibot, we're not askin' for much, Only...your voice. :Somnibot: :My...my voice? But if I give away my voice, how can I utilize my-- :Rita: :Well, you'll have your looks...your pretty face...and don't underestimate the importance of a body language! HA! :(End Speaking Segment) :See, Alpha really hates a lot of blabber :He thinks "a girl who gossips? she's a bore!" :Yes, to him it's much preferred :for ladies not to say a word :And after all, hon, what is all your prattle for? :Come on, he's not all that impressed with conversation :He'll try to avoid it when he can! :But he will dote and swoon and fawn :on a robot who's withdrawn :It's she who holds her tongue, we know you can! :Come on, you poor unfortunate bot :Go ahead! Make your choice! :We are very busy people, and we haven't got all day :Zedd: :It won't cost much. Just your voice! :Rita: :You poor unfortunate bot :It's sad but true :If you want to cross a bridge, sweet girl, you've got the pay the toll :Take a gulp, take a breath, go ahead and sign the scroll :Goldar, Finster, now I've got her, boys :The boss is on a roll! :THIS POOR UNFORTUNATE SOUL! :Lunara Tranquila, come winds of Serenity Sea :Larynxis glaucitis, ad max laryngitis, la voce to we :Rita: :(spoken) Now, Somnibot...sing! Sing your voice to us! :Somnibot: :Ah ah ah, ah ah ah, ah ah ah ah ah ah ah... :Zedd and Rita: :SING AND KEEP SINGING! :Somnibot: :Ah ah ah, ah ah ah, ah ah ah ah ah ah ah, ah ah ah... Extended Poor Unfortunate Bots lyrics :Come on, we know you need a little magic :And magic is our specialty du jour :Don't just stand there looking sick :Would we kid you? Play a trick? :Like I told you, I don't do that anymore :So I think you ought to take our little bargain :Yes, I think you ought to make our little deal :Sure, yeah, it's hard to leave your life :But you could be Alpha's wife :Why don't you let me take that dream and make it real? :Come on, you poor unfortunate bot :Poor child! Poor bot! :Aren't you glad you brought your problem :To a lady you can trust? :Won't you let me please just grant you your wish? :You poor unfortunate soul :Poor sweet! Poor dear! :Aren't you lucky that I'm ready with a potion and a plan? :Aren't you glad you came and asked :If I could help you? And I can :When a fembot comes to Rita, she always gets her man :You poor unfortunate bot! Reprise lyrics :What a lovely little date I'll make, :My dear, I look divine! :Things are working out according to my ultimate design! :Soon I'll have that little robot, :and this planet shall be mine! Notes *Rita's line "Now, Somnibot...sing! Sing your voice to us!" is shortened in the broadcast version to just "Now, Somnibot...sing!". **Additionally, the dialogue in the longer speaking segment is shortened and redone in the broadcast version, more resembling the lines from the original Disney film. **A second soundtrack version was recorded with the shortened and redone dialogue soon thereafter. *The incantation Rita and Zedd state translates to "The tranquil lunarian summons the winds of Serenity Sea. I take your voice and leave you with a swollen tongue and laryngitis. With that, your voice is ours." Category:Angie Y. Category:Songs